“Don’t put yourself in situations you know you’ll feel bad about, it’s not worth it”

 I don’t have many strong memories of my childhood and that's sad, I want to remember more but I can’t. However, I remember one time when me and my close friend used to jump over the sprinkler in my grandma's garden and when we used to stay up too late at night. I had so much fun and I miss those days, when all you did was play with friends and never had a boring time. 

My relationship with my family is god I think, I hope. I guess there's a side of my mothers family that I don't have much contact with but otherwise it’s good. 

I remember it was a Thursday morning and I was as usual sitting in my living room and waiting on the bus. I think I was doing something on my phone or watching youtube but I’m not quite sure. As I’m sitting there on the sofa I hear knocking on the door, I stand up to open the door and I see our neighbour standing there with a bicycle beside her. She asks “Is your father at home?” and I say “yes he is, wait here and I’ll go get him!”. After I picked him up, they talked for a while and I didn’t think much about it so I didn’t listen to what they were talking about. So after the neighbour went back home my father came up to me and said “did you hear what she said?” and because I didn’t listen I said “no, what about it?” and that’s when my life turned upside down. He said “well, mom just been in a car accident and i need to get there as fast as possible to get things from the car because she needs to go to the emergency room as fast as possible”. 

I did not know if she was alive or not and that made me even more worried. After all this I went to school the same morning and if the bad news wasn’t enough, I forgot almost everything, I forgot to charge my computer and I forgot to charge my phone. Everything bad you can think about happened that day. That day didn’t start as good as I hoped It would. 

If I could say anything to my younger self It would be “don’t put yourself in bad situations you know you’ll feel bad about, it’s not worth it.” I want to say that to myself because a while ago I got out of a toxic friend group. It started good and we were like a normal friend group. The relationship led them to bullying me and put me in situations I didn’t feel confident about. That long time of always feeling uncomfortable led me to developing stress and anxiety. 

For example, if you know you’ll feel bad about something or if you know an act that you know is not good for your mental health, I think you should focus on doing something else you know you’ll feel good about. 

Something I really want to do sometime in my life is to explore the world and see more places than I already do after corona is over or when you are allowed to travel around the world. One more big thing I really want to do is dance on a big stage and have fun. 

Edina 9a