“The doctors didn’t know if my body would recover from the accident due to all the damage my brain took"

“When I was about 20 years old, something traumatic happened to me. I was out with my friends in the evening. Suddenly, I went towards a pedestrian crossing. By the time I crossed the road, a car came from the side and crashed into me. My whole body was thrown away. The car stopped and a man came out. He was shocked and felt guilt. None of my friends were hit by the car, so together with the man, they called an ambulance. After that, I fainted.”

“A month later I woke up in a hospital. I had been unconscious the whole time since the car accident and had now received intensive care. I had a concussion and broke one of my lower legs in seven different places.  I hit my head so hard that my brain was swollen and my leg were almost crushed. I was so close having to amputate it, but I was lucky. 

As a result of my swollen brain, I had difficulty remembering people that stood near me, even my parents. I also had many memory gaps from my childhood, which I still have today. 

The doctors didn’t know if my body would recover from the accident due to all the damage my brain took. I was on sick leave for two years and got much support for my learning and talking, as I barely remembered grammar in the swedish language. My leg was so broken that I had to walk on crutches for a long long while. For many years after the accident I had to wear special socks when I was going skiing, because my leg was unstable.”

“Today, I have difficulty with learning, reading comprehensions and remembering names because of the accident. I rarely cross the road when it’s red lights because I have such a big respect for vehicles. But I don’t have any injuries today, except for learning.”

“It was the worst moment of my life. I was so close to die but I managed to survive, and that makes me so thankful and lucky that I’m still alive today. One thing that made me fight a little bit more for my life must have been my friends and family. They came so often to the hospital and made me want to continue living. I have learned from the accident that you should take your life for granted, cause we don’t know if we will be alive tomorrow.”

Alice 9A

“I can unfortunately never take him back”

I am currently going through an important and somewhat difficult period in life, high school has been a security för me the last few years and some of the most fun period of my life, when I graduate high school after the summer I will try to get into a school so for me it is now important to study my grades and invest in school all I can. I have had many good years in high school, my best friend started in the same class as me about two years ago but this summer I got one message that took a lot on me. He, my best friend, took his own life and we both had a lot of things that were planned together, it was a tough period in my life, it took me really hard but also people around me too. It still stays in me and hurts, he would fill years now and we were going to celebrate him, that day it took extra much and it felt like I got back the same feeling I got the day I found out he had taken his life, but I did work on it and it is clear that they will get easier with time. I’ve learned to anyway accept what happened and I can unfortunately never take him back and I can not let go of the whole my life collapsed because I lost him, I still miss min very much and that will I do the rest of my life, I’m sure. After this happened, I still realized that I was happy no matter how hard it was to lose someone who was so close to me. That which made me so happy now and which helped me to come back on the track was partly my wonderful girlfriend who takes care of me and helps me with things that I need help with, talk to me, make me stay on this earth during tough periods and never let me give up when it’s hard. 

Then of course my family makes me happy, they are always there for me and support me in everything I do, then I also have my sport which makes me happy because there I have something I can lean back on and feel a little freedom. I have people around me who make me happy and make me feel good. 

I have learned an incredible amount in my life, some of the things I have learned for my childhood, I had a very good and fun childhood I did a lot of things that were mischievous but after this I have learned what things to do and not to do. During all these years I have also built up my self confidence and i would probably say that I have pretty good self confidence. Of course they can go up and down but when I feel like I’m good at something like that increases my self confidence a lot and then I believe in myself much more but when it is things that I am not as good at, my self confidence can drop but I always try to be motivated to get better at those things. 

During a time in my life it was hard it is also one thing I learned, that everything is not easy and you will have tough periods in life, but I have lived with panic attacks during my teenage which has been hard and taken on me a lot. I have had my panic attacks when it was too much or when I just felt like I had failed things. It has now been almost 3 years since I had a panic attack last time but this summer I was afraid of getting one again, the two hard on me to lose my best friend and every now and then one of my biggest fears is getting back judgment. But I never got it, which was nice. But I have a fear that has always been with me and it has to do with the panic attacks and it is to fail. I always try to strive for the bet myself and when I fail it feels like I am taking a step back and when I am fails again and again it feels like I will never reach my goal and it is scary because if it gets too much like that it can lead to me getting my panic attacks like are so extremely hard to have.

Amanda L 9c

“ I have learned to appreciate small things in life.“

I want to be a role model to someone, maybe my children or someone close to me. I would like to travel and discover rare places, and hopefully together with my family. I have also always wanted to be a good and understanding mother to my children, I try my best but it is hard sometimes to always understand them.

The best time in my life was when I had my children, I have never been so thankful as when I got them. Another fantastic memory I have is when I volunteered in the USA as a babysitter, I met friends for life and was not worried about anything during that time. Life was so easy and I was about 20 years old when I got there so I had not seen much of the world earlier. I thought life in the USA was so unreal if you compare it to life in Sweden, so it was a bit shocking to me to get there.

The worst time in my life must have been when my grandmother died, the cancer took her life and I don’t think I've ever been so sad as I was then. She meant so much to me and I was always at her house when I was a child, she gave me so much good advice and she will always be with me. 

When I was young it was difficult for me to appreciate things. But now I have learned to appreciate small things in life like spending time with my family, have an economy that I can manage with and of course that I am well being. I have never really been depressed which I am very grateful for. But there are some things that have made me feel really sad for a longer time. I remember when I went to school, it was a really hard time for me. I was not popular at all and I did not have many friends. My mental health was pretty bad during that time. I’m not sure if you can call it depression, but I was at the bottom of my self.

I am really afraid of losing the persons I love, that is my biggest fear right now and I think it always will be.

Theperson who has influenced me the most in my life is my old basketball coach, he always told me if it’s going to be possible to succeed you must fail first, he is also the person who gave me the best advice and always believed in me.

Stella 9b

“Things that don't kill you only makes you stronger.”

 “Things that don't kill you only makes you stronger.”

“ When I was 14 years old I was the happiest I have been in my life. You would say that I was young and had little experience of life. I was young, I thought I knew what heartbreak felt like, I thought I had lived. But I hadn't. When I was about 13 years old I had no friends and I felt mentally ill nearly a year, but when I switched schools it became extremely different. I began to get more friends and started to enjoy my life, I felt really really blessed. I started dancing, I went to competitions, made new friends from all around Sweden from different dance clubs. It was summer when me and my best friend had just been at her house and we were about to go to one of our other friends' house. She started talking crap about one of our girl friends and I told her that she is our friend and we shouldn't do this but she assured me that it was just us but I still didn't want to, she got angry like always but I didn't think much about it. The rest of the night we had fun and I went to sleep later happy about the day. When I woke up the next morning my phone was blown up from all my friends and people I didn't even know from school. I didn't understand at first, it wasn't my birthday? I quickly understood when the friend my best friend talked about had both written on snapchat, called and texted me. Of course, this is a thing my “best friend” use to do. Make everyone love her and hate the people around her, she does this all the time but never on me. But this time she did, and my other friend actually believed her. My “best friend” had said to everyone that the things she said yesterday was me. I had to take shit from everyone, from all corners. I lost every friend I had. It all reminded me how I felt before and once again I began to feel mentally ill. This started to affect everyone around me that was staying to help me, like my family or my friends from dance class. I didn't talk about anything, I stopped eating, I didn't like to dance anymore, I never talked with my parents, skipped both school and dance classes, I didnt trust people around me and I became angry very easily. If I could I would rewind the time and stand up for myself, not run away from everything and hide. I didn't deserve what I was going through. I switched schools but even do I did this every time people who saw and knew me screamed things at me. Now I feel like they missed me, they couldn't forget about me, I was important to them. But when it all happened I felt terrible. I wanted to give up everything, I was extremely depressed and felt like life wasn't worth living. But now I'm happy, everything I went through made me stronger. Just like they say, The things that don't kill you only makes you stronger.”

Jeanette 9b

“I am a brilliant surgeon that saves many lives”

“ When I went to primary school as a small kid I liked it very much, I loved to be there because I loved my friends and the whole class was like a family. But one day the girls I actually liked and hung out with were suddenly starting to say shitty things, they said things like I was ugly, that my parents should not be proud of me. All day they said mean comments to me and that made me really sad cause they were my best friends. The fact that the girls in the class were mean to me made that the rest of the class also became shitty and in the end everyone froze me out. They didn't want me to be with them.  For a while I was on sick leave because I could not be in school because I was feeling so lonely and felt so unsuccessful. This was a big torment for me during the school day. 

But actually I can see now that this helped me in school. These things made me more independent and that made me focusing more in school because I had no friends to talk with at the lesson and I got better grades and had more choices before high school. 

Thanks to the awful class I could get into the medical line and work with what I wanted all my life, since I was a little kid I knew I wanted to work with people and save many lives, I was wanting to do something for the world, and here I am. I am a brilliant surgeon that saves many lives and I am so proud of myself because no one believed I would  Succeed. 

Ella 9b

"I received an award just for being kind. The simplest thing in the world."

“When I was a kid I was very shy. I didn't have lots of friends and i didnt make a lot o noise. I was one of those children who had a tendency to keep the door open for people everywhere, for example going to lunch or before a lesson. I hold the door open and everyone in the class just streams through, no one says anything and it does not feel like anyone is notice me. I think im done, that I can drop the door but then all the other kids also went straight against me, first comes one and then un other and so it continues. It was like this every day for such a long time, in the end I did not even notice that I did it. It was as if I was their doorman, as if it was my role in school. Think of it yourself doing it every day for 2-3 years and no one even says thank you in the end. All of a sudden during graduation they shout out my name, I'm going up on stage. I have never been so scared in my hole life but now im also so proud of myself for going up. I received an award, just for being kind. The simplest thing in the world. It was a scholarship so I got money but above all I got to be seen. I had never felt seen before so it felt special and i also got seen for being myself. My mother has always told me that you should treat others the way you want to be treated and that people appreciate the smallest things. It was only because of her i did it.” 

Moa 9b

"What makes them happy makes me happy."

“I am the happiest women in the world when I am with my kids, they really are great. When I am with my family we often plan to do activities such as go to the beach in the summer or just the simple things like cook or clean together. In the winter or the autumn we go to the cinema and  we also usually go to the playground or play boardgames just because they like that. What makes them happy makes me happy too. I feel the most appreciated when my kids do things for me. It can be so many things, for example, when they pick up all their toys after them or when it's my birthday they try to make nice drawings and show appreciation even though they still are very small.”

Moa 9b

It was a long time ago when I had a vey difficult surgery on my lungs and all I wanted was to come back to my normal life."

 It was a long time ago when I was a teenager and had a very difficult surgery on my lungs and I was staying in a hospital for a long time and was very isolated and all i wanted to do was get out of the hospital and come back to my normal life.

I was a young lady who came to live in Sweden with my husband. I didn't know the languages and the people here were very different from Germany and i was not sure if i would feel happy here. I am a woman who feels happy when I know that my family is also happy and that we are very healthy. It makes me also happy when I am successful in my life and that I have a goal to work for because it would not be so nice if I go to work everyday knowing that I have nothing important to do. I want to get better everyday so that I can show the world that I can also achieve my goals. It doesn't matter how old you are, you can always become great if you work hard in life. 

One time in my life I had it very difficult. My family didn't have so much money that my mom and dad had to work extra everyday. I often didn't see my family all day because they had to work so their family would live a good life. I didn't take scholl very seriously and that has been the biggest regret of my life and I wish I would have done it better back then. When I was a teenager I had a very difficult surgery on my lungs and I was staying at the hospital for a long time. I felt very isolated and I just wanted to get out and go back to my normal life. While I was sitting at the hospital I thought of life and what to do that will help me become happy with my life and it was always family. Family is always going to be there for you no matter what and that you don't know how much time you have in life so you should always live with a smile on your face and always pay respect to other people and never give up on your goals.

My advice to other people is that you should always stay positive and for example never give up hope with what goals you have or work hard for. It is always going to be someone who's going to be there for you. It could be your family, bestfriend or even a dog but most of all, be happy that you have someone who believes in you because there's not many people who have someone who cares about them. That's why you should be very happy with it and never let someone get in your mind and say that you are never going to make it. Show them wrong then later they are the ones who are going to watch you become a great person because you have worked hard with your goals and one day it will pay off everything. Never give up!

Benjamin 9b

“My life was corrupt before I met her”

 I lived in a small part of Smaland called Carlsbro. I was never too great in school and I didn’t have many friends, and some of the small number of friends I had turned their back on me, but the worst part of my childhood was when my father passed away. When I was 15 years old my father got diagnosed with leukemia and no more than a couple of months later he passed äway. I didn't  tell anyone in my school, no one knew that it had happened, maybe that was why they kept on bullying me. 

Every day I cried and mourned, I felt like I didn't have the strength to go on, I felt lonely even though my family was always supportive. When my father passed away it also meant that I was the only man in the household which meant that even during the times that I had to go through I had to stay strong and be there for my mother. That was the only thing I still thought of as important, I completely stopped caring about my surroundings and especially school. Then, one day everything changed, I was soon believing my life has a purpose. 

The love of my life, I met her when I was 17 years old, my high school sweetheart. 

She was perfect, blonde hair which always was silky smooth and her sparkling blue eyes were everything. The first time I spoke to her I knew she was the one, she made feel like my life isn't pointless after all. When I spoke to her I felt like I could open up to her about everything, she opened her warm arms and took me in, I was never the weird quiet kid to her, she never looked at me like I was anyone else then me. And from that day and on we loved each other. Now we are happily married with three children, two boys and one girl. 

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I often think about where my life would have been if I hadn't met her. I've thought of many scenarios, none of them good in any way possible. I will never stop being thankful for her, my beautiful wife. 

Oskar 9b

“I was so tired of being bullied that I changed my life and all of a sudden I was the bully”

 “When I was young I had long hair like a girl, this would make my life as a youngster very hard. Every night I would cry myself to sleep and no one was there for me. Currently I am living in Kista, it's a hood in Stockholm with people from all different parts of the world, which is a good and a bad thing but for the most part it was bad. Parents who couldn't raise their children so they became bullies and criminals. The person  I was growing up with was mostly my sister but we were always fighting with each other. I always wanted to be like Zlatan, he was my role model, that's why i had long hair like him. Having long hair was very unpopular and (girly) . My mom is from Bosnia and my dad too, but he left when I was  4 months old. I don't really care about it because all the people I grew up with had no dad figure either. When i started going to school i was bullied every day, mostly because i had long hair but also because i was very skinny. I was sad every day and cried myself to sleep. My mom couldn't help me very much because she was working the night shift. One day i was tired of it all, i cut my hair to a buzzcut. I made new friends in school, one of them was Yad. We made a so called crew together where we wouldn't let anyone disrespect us or look at us in a bad way. At this time I was bigger than the other kids and yad was tall and fat, we were beating kids every day and stole their things from the lockers. Our crew was escalating and more and more was joining us. I felt so much better in school but when i got home i was still sad and cried every night. Our crew was so cruel we even bullied teachers and they were too scared to do something. When i saw my mom cry and quit her job because of my doing i saw the seriousness in this. This is when we moved to Hornstull and i was starting to be a good person.

Maximilliam 9b

“I would say that I'm most afraid of the spread of covid19 right now."

 “I would say that I'm most afraid of the spread of covid19 right now. I'm also very worried that my parents who are in the risk category will get the virus. I work in a kindergarten with a lot of young children around me all day and I also got the virus in march. I got really sick but my biggest concern was the well being of my sister who also got it at the same time. I am very grateful that my eldery parents have put themselves in lockdown since March when me and my sister got covid. As a mother and a kindergarten teacher my thoughts go out to children who are living in abusive homes during covid since the isolation forces the kids to stay home where no one from the outside can see them or any warning sign that normally can be observed in the daycare or school. Besides that I’m very worried that the isolation can cause mental illness to people who will get depressed by the loneliness that the isolation creates. Will society have resources to take care of these people when the Covid situation is over? I really hope so!

I think that society will change a lot. People will think about their hygiene and keeping distance. Restaurants and bars will not be as crowded as before. People will probably work more from home with more flexible working hours and internet shopping will increase even more. The world will probably never look the same after covid. 

The only way to stop this pandemic is a vaccine and of course I see it as my duty to get vaccinated and I hope that the rest of the world thinks the same.

I'm looking forward to the family puppy that will hopefully arrive in May next year. Me and my younger son decided to get a puppy once his older brother moved out. It’s really strange that I’m getting a dog, since I’ve been afraid of dogs my whole life. Somehow I have overcome my fear and I'm so excited. After this challenging year I believe that Loomi will bring a lot of joy to not only me and my youngest but to the whole family. Yes, I will name the dog Loomi, it’s Finnish and means snow since the dog for sure will be white.”

Noah 9b

“I watched our daughter take her last breaths, with our two month old baby boy in my arms."

 “I was 17 years old, soon to be 18. My birthday was in November and nearly all of my friends had already turned. It was tough for me to have my birthday so late. I felt left out in some way. Once we went to a party and all of my friends drank alcohol. I didn’t want to be excluded so I also drank. Unfortunately it got out of control and I drank a bit too much. Too much for my parents not to bust me. I got a curfew for three whole weeks! That was the time I realized I had to move out from my parents. February the next year, I found an apartment 20 minutes away from my parents house. It was located next to my university as well. It was the perfect place to settle down. I studied to become a doctor. Although I was a bit uncontrolled and messy, I still had good grades in High School. As a youth I always wanted to be a doctor or a veterinary surgeon. The second year at the university I found the love of my life. It felt like we were meant for each other. Unfortunately though, my education stopped us from moving in together and spending as much time with each other as we wanted. We stayed together during my long and difficult education and when I finally got my degree, we moved in together. After another year passed, I was pregnant. It was a girl and we were both so happy. Both of us were pretty young. Many people believe that if you create a family at 25 years of age you haven’t lived your best life, but that's not true, we felt accomplished. The years went by and soon our little angel had turned seven and I was pregnant again, with a boy this time. We had plans on going overseas to Greece when the unthinkable happened. Our daughter was diagnosed with cancer. It was devastating for all of us. She had to spend her birthday laying down in a hospital bed. It was very hard to go through. I was a doctor so i wanted to help but i was 7 months pregnant with our boy.”

“I watched our daughter take her last breaths, with our two month old baby boy in my arms. To this day I'm sure that our son felt sorrow. There was some type of connection, I’m positive. He cried when it happened. It took two years and around 25 visits to the psychologist to get over it. My family and friends kept me going. A big part in my recovery was my occupation. I couldn’t save my daughter but I can and I have saved other daughters, moms, dads, sons etcetera. Today I am a happy married woman with a successful and beautiful family. 

Melker 9b

“My fear came from the fear of not knowing how to react.”

“When I was 9 or 10 years old, I witnessed something that I still remember today. I got home pretty late one night, probably because of football practise. When I was walking in the stairwell on the way up to my apartment, I saw something that, in that age, scared me. A homeless, drunk man was laying in the stairs. I really remember it because I was so scared. I didn’t leave my apartment for days because I was really afraid that he was still going to be there. I don’t know what I was afraid of, but the memory is still there and I felt like my fear came from the fear of not knowing how to react. After I thought about it I realized that the man must be going through a hard time. Today I know that not all homeless people are drunk weirdos, and that they actually can be really nice if you just say ‘hi’. They are humans, just like everyone else. So from that day on, I decided that I was always going to greet people that are sitting outside of grocery stores and similar. Because I know that a simple wave or word can really change someone's day. For me, it’s no big deal. But some people have been through a lot, and really need joy in their lives. Everyone should remember that you feel better to make someone else happy. Don’t take your life and happiness for granted.”

“I don’t think that people realize how easy it is to be nice to people. When we’re kids, spreading love and joy is easy. We ask ourselves, ‘why are people so mean to each other?. We don’t know why people don’t respect each other. I can still ask myself the same thing, and it’s horrible that we just accept the fact that everyone doesn’t respect and understand other people. For homeless people, it’s not about being disrespectful. If you grew up in a positive environment and good circumstances, you can’t imagine what it's like not living like that. Believe me, I’ve tried to. That’s why I think that it’s stupid when parents tell their kids to ‘think about the kids in Africa’. First of all, that’s pretty biassed. Second of all, it’s not about imagining what it’s like, it’s about respect. We just have to understand other people, not live like them. The ‘basic swedish-family’ live differently than a ‘basic african-family’ But we’re all people. We all live like we learn and can only live from the perspective of ourselves.”

“I still remember the man in the stairwell today. But with a different perspective. That I was scared when I was 9 is not weird. I just haven't learned about other people and their lives. I thought that my life was normal and all other lives were odd. If you ask a kid today, they will say that my life is ‘normal’. And it’s not because kids are disrespectful, it’s just because they don’t know. If we teach the new generation about other people’s lives, I think that the world is more respectful.”

Wilma 9a

“Everything felt horrible. My child died of popcorn"

“Something that has affected me is when I got my two sons, it was the happiest moment of my life. My sister was always  supporting me during my pregnancy and she was so happy for me. When I got my first son she was always by my side she helped if I needed help with anything and if something came up she was already there.  

She had always dreamed of getting a child and she was such a loving and caring aunt. She is my best friend and I love her more than anything.

And 5 years ago she got her first daughter. I remember how happy she was when she told me that her life finally felt complete and she really loved her. 

I remember her daughter as a really happy and playful person she was also calm but full of life. My sister's daughter and my son were inseparable  every day he nagged me that he wanted to meet her. My youngest son and my sister's daughter were like one person; they did everything together.  We spent so much time together and she was like a daughter for me too and so was my son to my sister.

One Friday my sisters family decided to have a cozy evening where they would eat popcorn, sweets and watch a movie. The day started just fine and all of them were happy. My sister and her daughter were at home that day, and the father was at work. I had talked to my sister that day and she told me how happy she was and how grateful she was to have all the people in her family. 

When the father got home they ate dinner together and then they fixed popcorn and the candy. The three of them sat on the couch and were  watching a movie and all of sudden she said her daughter started making weird sounds and it sounded like she couldn't breathe. She said to me that she panicked, she took her daughter up and started pushing her back, but it didn't make anything better. The father called 911 and she said that she saw how her daughter became blue and then she lost consciousness. On their way to the hospital she told me that it didn't feel real that is was just a dream and nothing like this could happen to her sweet little daughter

She died on their way to the hospital because she had suffocated by popcorn.

It was horrible. She said we came with our child and came out without her, I couldn't feel any joy. Everything felt horrible. My child died of popcorn.

It took a long time for me to feel joy. She said that she thinks it was when she got another child she truly felt joy again.

She got a boy and he was a big blessing. He is just like her daughter, they are happy and playful. He is so kind and spreads so much joy just if he walks into the room.

She is so grateful for everything and her daughter still lives with her but in her heart.

Tilda 9a

“ In 2014 I was diagnosed with breast cancer”

 In my life I have been struggling with many problems. But the biggest one was my cancer. In 2014 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At that time I lived in Holland and was all by myself. No kids and no husband or boyfriend, so it was and still is very lonely. The treatment was painful. I couldn't work for almost a year, all I did was being at home or in the hospital for treatment. I still have cancer but I take medicine, go on surveys every fourth month  where they measure my legs and many other things. So it is still a struggle and always stressful because I need a health declaration every year that says that I am healthy.

In all this anxiety and stress I have one thing that always matters no matter what makes me happy and that is cykling. I have lived much in the swiss alps and nature has always been my playground for as long as i remember. I climb and ski a lot but my passion is cykling.

I have always loved biking from school and work and to the store. In Switzerland in general it's very popular to bike more than you walk, especially in the Alps. I have so many bikes and every bike has its own history.

My most loving bike is the one I bought right after I was declared healthy. It was very expensive but i love it so much.

And my job includes moving alot and in all the places I have lived it has been easier to cycle than running for example, so that's why my passion for cycling is still alive.

I know a lot of people that are struggling with depression or any other type of mental illness including me. And I also met many people when I needed my treatment for cancer that has become depressed because of the disease. And that is very normal. There were many specialists for mental illness in the hospital that helped you on the way out of the illness but you can never heal from an experience like that.

In Sweden, it is very common to talk about mental illness.But since I work for a company that is foreign, it is not at all as common to talk about it. And it is usual to hear people talk about people that are sick leave but it’s never like they ask how everyone is doing. And that is very hard because it is common to move to my job, many people live alone without children and a partner. This is what my and many others' lives look like in this industry. This means that many feel lonely. Often, many people take sick leave because they cannot manage to go through everything in their lives alone. But that is never anything we talk about at work. For me I feel like it’s important to ask how everybody is doing and if i’m lucky i get a better understanding and contact with that person but also a different point of view of how the person is private. 

And especially now with the pandemic and everything I think that everyone feels a little bad.

Mavi 9a

“I have to wait one year for the operation."

One night last year i got really dizzy. I thought that it was nothing but it kept coming back. It went on for a couple of days when I really got sick of it. After about a week I went to the doctor and got diagnosed with crystal disease. It's a disease that messes with your balance. The reason why you get this disease is that your crystals in your inner ear have fallen out or misplaced.

But one Day it got so bad that I fell over and broke my arm really bad. I went to the doctor again and had it x-rayed. It turned out that my arm was broken in several places.I had to get an operation. First after the operation it felt very good. But after a few days I started to notice that I could not use my arm properly and it was still hurting in my arm. When I went back to the doctor he said that he could not do another operation in my arm for about a year. 

I was shocked. I thought to myself, what am I going to do? 

This has really affected me in several different ways. I work in a daycare and nowadays I really struggle with that. I have problems with putting on clothes on the children, I can almost not cook any food. And I can barely lift anything. 

Another thing that I cannot do properly any more is to babysit my grandson. Before the accident I used to take care of my grandson all the time when my son was away at work or shopping for groceries. But now I can’t really do that anymore. I can’t change his diaper or change his clothes.

Even though I work with children all day I could not wait to get home and take care of my sweet boy. And it really bothers me that I cannot do that anymore.

I know that it doesn’t sound so bad that I broke my arm. But for me it really limits my everyday activities, and work. I can't really use my arm properly and it’s really annoying. Now I have to wait a year to get another operation. And after that I don’t even know if it’s gonna get good or not. Who knows maybe I have to wait another year for another operation.

Love 9a

“I joined God, it felt like I had found home”

“When I was 3 month old my family decided to emigrate to the United States, it was the 3 month old me, my sister and my parents. Me and my sister couldn't go to the United States with our parents. We needed to travel in different ways and hoped to meet when we arrived. I was so small that I had to travel in a box. When we arrived in the United States we did not have it easy, we had to get used to a completely new culture with a new language and unknown people.

We couldn't handle the circumstances so we decided to travel back to Sweden, we did this in hope for a better life. 

When we came back it was not as usual, we had a lot of fights in the family and our relationship with each other got worse, that I was then in my teens was nothing that helped.

We lived in bad conditions and I started to feel better when I was 18, I moved away from home to study. I moved away from all the problems in the family and was able to start all over again”.

“When I moved there, I found the man who I thought was my soulmate. We fell in love and one day we got married, we got three sons. We didn't had the best circumstances but we had a really good relationship which made the situation much easier”. 

“Our sons got older and my and my husband's relationship started to lose, we chose to go our separate ways. Everything still felt good, me and my sons had a good relationship, I got a new man in my life. He and I lived together for a few years, he was somewhat good in the beginning but towards the end he treated me and my children badly.

My children made a decision to live with their father as much as they could and I lost the relationship with them, during this period my parents also died. It felt very dark, it felt like I had lost everything. My sons, my family and my health deteriorated. The man who caused this was hard to get rid of, he did not want to leave my life”.

“Eventually, with the help of others, I was able to move away from this man and try to get back those I really cared about, my sons. My sons and I gradually rebuilt our relationship and I found myself again. I joined God, it felt like I had found home. God helped me to find myself and realize that in the worst periods of my life it is not over, there is something bigger than me and God helped me to see the light when it was difficult. Being able to find a solution to problems I could not see without God, I could turn to God when I felt lonely or sad”.

“That I found myself was because I joined God, it helped me build my relationship with my children and their father. Me, my 3 children and my 8 grandchildren today have a very good relationship, which I think is because we have not always had it so good. My children's father and I have also become very good friends in recent years, he is my best friend and to him I can say everything”.

“Even though many of my relationships have been tested in difficult ways, I still have those that are most important to me in my life”.

Linnea 9a

“He got an answer to what was wrong with him”

 Roger was a very ordinary guy who had many goals in life and it went great for him. He trained a lot and he had his own company but there was something wrong with his body, he was always very tired and there were things that didn't make sense. 

He was at the doctors a lot and 2009 he got an answer to what was wrong with him he got a very rare disease called Wilson disease. It settles on the brain and it affects the nerves in your body. He has medicine he takes now because it's an incurable disease and if he doesn't take it there is a chance that he will die. He doesn't get better or worse now because of the medication and that is good.

 He is copper poisoned and that means that his body doesn't get rid of it so it stays in his body instead of going out of it. There came consequences to this and some of them are that he can't swallow so he has an ostomy bag on his stomach because he got problems with his intestinal. He has a very hard time talking but if you have known him for a long time like me you will understand him perfectly fine. As long as he eats his medicine he will keep his disease in order. Now he has 2 children Vendela and Vanessa and he has a dog named Greger. Vanessa has a child so he has a grandchild named tore and he is 5 months old. He likes to go visit my family friend in gävle because he likes to be in the forest and be with animals. 

I don't spend much time with him anymore, there was a time not long ago where it was very difficult to spend time with him anymore and because of that we have slipped apart a bit and that is very sad. Last time i saw him he was at the hospital and had surgery because of his initials and it was very difficult to see because he was in a lot of pain but am excited because i am going to visit him soon and i am very happy about that.

Josefine 9a

“I needed to sacrifice a lot to achieve my dreams”

I have not had a good relationship with my family but we always treat each other with respect. Ever since I was a little child, my mother has worked a lot in the hospital because she was a nurse and dad worked on a job where he had to commute a lot from my small hometown Alinsås to Sweden’s capital Stockholm. This means that me and my sister only lived with our mom on the weekdays. Mom worked a lot so we were pretty much alone if we ignore the time of the day when the cleaning ladies were home. But on the weekend a lot changes, then dad comes home with a big smile on his lips and a present for me in his right hand and one to my sister in his left. It was always like that, mine was on the right side and hers was on the left. The lack of dad I think made our relationship stronger as we spent a lot of time with each other when we met. 

But everything changed when I moved from home when I was only 16 years old.  I chose to start at a boarding school with a focus on hotel & tourism to meet my dreams. My biggest wish since I was 10 years old has been that one day I want to own my own hotel, which has now become a reality. But I have had to sacrifice a lot to achieve my dreams. Moving away from home as young as I was , was a big change from me but it was still quite nice. 

I did not tell my mom that I had applied to a boarding school so there was only one month left until it was time for me to move out when I told her. I was afraid to hurt her, afraid to lose my contact I had with her. We didn't have much in common and we did not have such a deep relationship but I could always tell her everything without it feeling strange.

After I graduated from the boarding school in Härjedalen, I chose to work for a few years in the restaurant industry, or rather during the winter I worked in the mountains and in the summer I worked on the west coast. But after that I moved to Stockholm and here I am still today…..

I basically lost all contact with my family during my years in Härjedalen, I think that I was home only five times during the three years. I chose to prioritize my career higher the highest, family and friends come second. It helped me achieve my dreams but as I said I needed to superficie a lot. When I went out of school and started working I almost never spoke to the family. But everything resolved itself with time. Now I have a really good relationship with my whole family, which is important to me. Since I am careful that my three children will grow up with their grandmother and grandfather just as I got. It is actually my absolutely foundest and brightest memory from my childhood, to be able to spend the summers at our mansion with my grandmother and grandfather. 

Filippa J 9a

“Don’t put yourself in situations you know you’ll feel bad about, it’s not worth it”

 I don’t have many strong memories of my childhood and that's sad, I want to remember more but I can’t. However, I remember one time when me and my close friend used to jump over the sprinkler in my grandma's garden and when we used to stay up too late at night. I had so much fun and I miss those days, when all you did was play with friends and never had a boring time. 

My relationship with my family is god I think, I hope. I guess there's a side of my mothers family that I don't have much contact with but otherwise it’s good. 

I remember it was a Thursday morning and I was as usual sitting in my living room and waiting on the bus. I think I was doing something on my phone or watching youtube but I’m not quite sure. As I’m sitting there on the sofa I hear knocking on the door, I stand up to open the door and I see our neighbour standing there with a bicycle beside her. She asks “Is your father at home?” and I say “yes he is, wait here and I’ll go get him!”. After I picked him up, they talked for a while and I didn’t think much about it so I didn’t listen to what they were talking about. So after the neighbour went back home my father came up to me and said “did you hear what she said?” and because I didn’t listen I said “no, what about it?” and that’s when my life turned upside down. He said “well, mom just been in a car accident and i need to get there as fast as possible to get things from the car because she needs to go to the emergency room as fast as possible”. 

I did not know if she was alive or not and that made me even more worried. After all this I went to school the same morning and if the bad news wasn’t enough, I forgot almost everything, I forgot to charge my computer and I forgot to charge my phone. Everything bad you can think about happened that day. That day didn’t start as good as I hoped It would. 

If I could say anything to my younger self It would be “don’t put yourself in bad situations you know you’ll feel bad about, it’s not worth it.” I want to say that to myself because a while ago I got out of a toxic friend group. It started good and we were like a normal friend group. The relationship led them to bullying me and put me in situations I didn’t feel confident about. That long time of always feeling uncomfortable led me to developing stress and anxiety. 

For example, if you know you’ll feel bad about something or if you know an act that you know is not good for your mental health, I think you should focus on doing something else you know you’ll feel good about. 

Something I really want to do sometime in my life is to explore the world and see more places than I already do after corona is over or when you are allowed to travel around the world. One more big thing I really want to do is dance on a big stage and have fun. 

Edina 9a

“Everyone told me I wouldn't be great at it”

 “I don´t think it's possible to have a passion for cooking and not like to invite people over. I have a passion for cooking. It's not cooking itself, it's the feeling of inviting friends and family over, it has become hard to not think about the cooking. I've always wanted to open a restaurant just because it's crowded at home when I have invited all my friends. And in 2016 that happened. I opened a restaurant and invited all my friends over, it felt amazing and I think that's the best feeling I’ve ever had. 

Then Covid-19 came and suddenly everything changed. First, it wasn’t a problem but then it all went away. No one wanted to come to our restaurant because everyone was scared. My friend died of Covid-19 and that was the hardest that hit me for a few years. I had to decide to close. I needed to close because I didn’t go profit on my work. It became sad and I couldn’t see my friends for a long time. I started to be depressed. We tested to skype each other but it wasn't as funny as meeting each other in reality. And it became harder, My mom died and i felt alone. No one was there for me when I really needed someone. Two people that meant the world to me had left and now I got nothing. I nearly gave up but I didn't. You gotta believe in yourself to be good at it.   

The funny thing about cooking is when you see your friends like the food that you make. Your heart warms if you see them like it. But sometimes you also want people to say that to you. It has happened that I started crying when my friends went home. 

I'm a very sad person and that's why you gotta show some love. But when my friend and mom died I learnt something, and that was to never feel sorry for myself. That was an important move that I made so I don`t cry every time I think of them.  

My passion for cooking started when I was going to my grandfather and grandmother every Thursday, we were cooking some soap and we were baking bread. My grandmother helped me very much to control everything in the kitchen.

She was a great support and always wished me all the best when I was leaving her. She helped me to create my passion for this and I'm very grateful for it. She helped start up my life. 

If you're a person who loves food but doesn't have friends you can invite over, don't be sad, try to open a restaurant where you can make your own food and people will be there to eat it. Don't give up, listen to some stories and do like them. Believe in yourself, try and don't give up. If you do this you will make it”

Alessandro 9A

“The hardest thing is to understand myself”

“Right now I have a hard time understanding myself. For my surroundings I think it's hard to understand the struggles I’m going through. For them I am the happy girl with a lot of energy, the girl that seems to have her life in order. The things that they don’t see is that under all of that I can barely understand myself, what do I want and who do I want to be. I help my friends with their problems and I know that they are here for me but I don’t think they understand that it does not help. They can’t help me with my real problems because there is only one person who really understands me, with her I can talk about everything. She knows I have a hard time right now but not even she can help me understand myself.“

“We can always try to understand people but we can never understand someone perfectly. For other people you can paint a picture of who you are but that can be just acting. I know because I have painted a picture of myself as a happy person that has a lot of energy. I think that the picture I have painted up is the person I want to be, I want to be happy and I want to understand myself. I have made myself think that I am that happy girl. I have now realized that it’s just the person I want to be not the person I am. This summer I started to question myself. I had no idea of what I wanted or what my thoughts meant. I started to lose myself. I have now started to see a therapist to talk about my feelings. I don’t like it at all. Not even the therapist understands that my problem is that I don’t understand my own thoughts. If I don’t understand my own thoughts wow are they going to understand them?”

“When my thoughts are all over me and I can’t figure out what I really mean I like to be with my friends. My best friends can make me feel better in a second. They can make my hard thoughts that I don’t understand disappear. When I am with them I don’t have to figure myself out. I also like to have training by myself then I just have to focus on the practice.  The reason why I like to have training alone is because then it’s just me, I don’t have to focus on anyone else and my thoughts are just on the practice. “

“I hope that I soon will start to understand my thoughts but right now I don’t think I will. My friends tell me that it will get better but I don’t think they really understand how bad I feel. Honestly I don't think it will get better because how can you just suddenly understand your own thoughts when you have not been able to do that before. Even though I don’t think it will get any better I really try because I want to be happy and understand my own thoughts and hopefully I will even if it will take a while.” 

Filippa B 9A

“I had to choose my mental health”

“Around one year ago I had my toughest decision in front of me. I had to decide if I was going to help myself or make someone else happy. I had a bad relationship with my dad and there came the choice of whether I should move away from home or not. Because of the bad relationship I had with my dad I wanted to move away from home for my own sake even though it was hard to leave my dad when he was so alone. My gut feeling said that I should move away from home to improve my mentally health and it was after that I lost touch with my dad for six months. 

I am so happy that I could stay with my friends and that I could sleep, eat and be with them when my life was the toughest.”

“My friends' support was the most important thing during that time, they have been by my side and always helped me. Without them I don't know how it would have gone with this. One thing that has helped me through this is to be positive and always think of the positive instead of something negative. When a problem has arised, I always take it from a positive perspective. There is no point in thinking about the negative aspects of moving. Instead, I thought about the positive things, I would feel better about it and instead of feeling bad about living with dad it would be better for my mentally health to live alone.”

“I think it was good that I lost contact with my father for a while because I think it made me have a stronger relationship with him today. We lost contact for 6 months which was a terrible time but I am glad we got the contact back today. When I lived with my dad and my sister I had a very good contact and we were very good friends but it was because of the relationship with my dad I could not stay. My dad was disappointed in me because I chose myself over him and moved away from home, which caused us to lose touch with each other. What made us get back in touch was that dad realised that I was important, he realised that I was a big part of his life and that he didn't feel good without me in his life. My dad wanted me back in his life because he only had contact with my sister and not any contact with me. That time he didn't have contact with me was his most terrible time in his life.”

Emma 9A